Out of Touch
I feel so out of place these days.
I can't seem to fit anywhere I find myself. Not at school, not with friends, not at home, nor with family.
Almost as if I don't need to play an active role in my existence. It's become comfortable for me; to just exist and watch as things happen to me and to find myself reacting to them, simply going through the motions.
But that's not living. I find myself simply existing, and it feels as though the part of me that's supposed to be happy and want to participate in my own life is slowly dying. Like I'm loosening the reins and letting something take over my life for me. The more I allow myself to sit back and observe, the easier it is for me to forget how to live. To participate.
Day by day I feel further and further away from reality. And I'm scared one day I'm just going to wake up and not know where or who I am. That one day I won't even be able to recognize my self anymore.
I feel I must be losing my mind. My head feels like it's constantly spinning wildly out of control and my thoughts are never-ending.
I need help figuring out this labyrinth. But help is becoming harder and harder to find these days. And I'm not sure I even know where to look.
I can't seem to fit anywhere I find myself. Not at school, not with friends, not at home, nor with family.
I walk around and feel like a guest in my own life.
Almost as if I don't need to play an active role in my existence. It's become comfortable for me; to just exist and watch as things happen to me and to find myself reacting to them, simply going through the motions.
But that's not living. I find myself simply existing, and it feels as though the part of me that's supposed to be happy and want to participate in my own life is slowly dying. Like I'm loosening the reins and letting something take over my life for me. The more I allow myself to sit back and observe, the easier it is for me to forget how to live. To participate.
Day by day I feel further and further away from reality. And I'm scared one day I'm just going to wake up and not know where or who I am. That one day I won't even be able to recognize my self anymore.
I feel I must be losing my mind. My head feels like it's constantly spinning wildly out of control and my thoughts are never-ending.
I need help figuring out this labyrinth. But help is becoming harder and harder to find these days. And I'm not sure I even know where to look.
