Mistakes

Life's latest lesson for me has been this:

For that which means the most to you, another's opinion of it should mean the least. 

I need to work on sticking up for what I truly want. And to learn to say no when I can just feel in my bones that something is wrong.
Otherwise life will just keep happening to me. 
And I can't take that anymore. I'm so tired of being broken down.
I need to stop worrying about other people and start fighting for myself and for what I want. And fighting against what I don't want. Because I can't keep letting things happen to me and then find myself having to recover from it. I'm tired and it's hard. I don't have the energy...

If new beginnings mean constantly having to bandage myself from the hurt they cause me, I think I would prefer to wait until I am strong enough for that. Because I don't think I'm strong enough right now.

And maybe I need to accept that. 

 Diamonds 

So by the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes 

Sits down on the bed and starts to cry

And there's something less about her

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do 

So I sit down and I cry too

But don't let her see

And she says, ooh

I can't take no more

Her tears like diamonds on the floor

And her diamonds bring me down

'Cause I can't help her now

She's down in it

She tried her best and now she can't win

It's hard to see them on the ground

Her diamonds fallin' down

She shuts out the night

Tries to close her eyes

If she can find daylight

Then she'll be alright

She'll be alright

Just not tonight